Why The Red Sox Can't Win the Series

So everyone has become a Red Sox fan. Well, that's a load of garbage. A friend from Massachusetts once told me that you can't become a Sox fan, you have to be born a Sox fan. Otherwise, she said, you won't be able to put up with the endless streak of misery and disappointment that accompanies rooting for the BoSox.

Of course, now we see that everyone, when the Sox make it to the Series and win Game 1, becomes a Sox fan.

These people understand niether the Red Sox, nor baseball.

The Sox haven't won the series since 1918; two years later in 1920 they sold Babe Ruth to Satan and haven't won the October Classic since. This, for the uninformed, is the "Curse of the Bambino." By blowing it and trading the best ballplayer in history (arguably), the Sox were condemned to blow it eternally. Since then, they have been to the Series four times and lost in game seven every time. Also, the Damn Yankees have since won 26 World Series championships.

Okay, now that the history lesson is out of the way...

Baseball is all about two things: Superstition and Tradition. A Red Sox win in the World Series depends on breaking these two things.

First there is the curse. Sox fans have tried all kinds of crazy nonsesne to break the curse. These things include: Reverse the Curse Ice Cream, Break the Curse Cookies, and all kinds of other things. Recently, Sox fans have been trying to find and raise a piano out of a pond in Massachusetts that the Babe allegedly threw in in 1918. Also, on August 31, 2004, Manny Ramirez hit a foul boll that hit Lee Gavin, 16, in the face. Lee lives in Babe Ruth's former house in Sudbury, Mass. That night Boston beat the Angels 10 to 7 and Cleveland beat the Yanks, 22-0, the worst defeat in MLB history. The hope is that that is the curse breaking blood sacrifice. At Game One last night, Lee attended the game with a sign that read "Manny, you broke the curse and my teeth."

The other thing that would require breaking for a Red Sox win is tradition. Tradition may be the greatest force in baseball. From tobacco to high socks to old tyme logos on their caps, baseball is America's "pastime." One of the greatest traditions in baseball derives from the Curse of the Bambino: Red Sox as the perennial losers. This is especially poignant this years, as the Cardinals have beat the Sox twice in the Series, 1946 and 1967, both, believe it or not, in game seven. Tradition is the driving force behind naming the new Washington, DC, team the Senators, singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame," (which is at least as patriotic as singing "God Bless America"), the ceremonial first picth, and calling lefty pitchers "southpaws." A win by the Sox in the series, especially in less than seven games, would violate that supreme baseball virtue: tradition.

The traditions of the Red Sox and their fans is simply: The Red Sox continue on in order to smash the Yankees and to suffer the interminable heartbreak of not quite making it. It is the team's raison d’être. So for all you fair-weather Sox fans, realize that first, being a true Sox fan means a lifetime of suffering, of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, and second, that you probably will be out of luck any way. I'm sorry, but Manny, Ortiz, Pedro and the rest can't stop the mighty baseball forces of tradition and superstition.

After 1918, the Sox left a comma after the year on the Fenway park wall, expecting to win another championship. They had already won five, the most so far. The comma has remained, but no year ever followed it. Don't expect to see "2004" alongside this month. Boston may have a great ball club, but there are forces at work beyond our control.

Further Reading:

http://www.soxsuck.com/curse.html

http://www.soxsuck.com/losses.html

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/baseball/mlb/news/2000/03/22/the_curse_timeline/